The Search for Ambience

11/19/08

Justice Souter has asked Obama to produce his birth certificate to prove he is a US Citizen.

***

Hilary leaked that she is going to be Secretary of State before Obama made a decision and won’t that just make him so mad.

11/13/08

PALIN/JINDAL ticket for 2012? Yes, Palin/Jindal not Jindal/Palin because, “she is better known”.

11/9/08

“The bank bailout is the result of all those democrats who wanted houses they wanted and couldn’t afford and got them.”

11/5/08

Client: How do you feel about the election?
Me: I am overwhelmed.
Client: Me too. I just didn’t think it would be so bad.
Me: Well, with my dad being sick, I just stopped paying attention to the
election. I kind of figured that McCain was going to lose anyway.
Client: Well, I hope that Palin runs again. she sure was nice to look
at.

****

“I’m going to start working less because I don’t want my wealth redistributed”

***

They were interviewing “those people” in Harlem before the election and asking who they planned to vote for. The conclusion was, “It just goes to show you that they are only voting because of race.”

It took just about every neuron I had to keep my mouth shut and not say, “And so are you.”

Dad still has not come around after his surgery. He remains on the vent at day 10, and is now fighting an infection. My job right now is to get to the hospital early and sit in his room to catch all the doctors making rounds. He is sedated, and not aware that anyone is in the room. It’s just about the saddest thing in the world to think that he thought he’d be going home just about now.

I am not sure when I’m returning to BTR, much less VA. Happy 47th Birthday to me.

The first thought I have when I wake up now is, “Where am I?” Moving between time zones in a period of time where the sunlight is waning and the sunrise is taking it’s time, my body has lost all control of it’s internal clock. I honestly can’t tell what time it is anymore.

I’m working 12 hour days at the client to make up for lost billable time and when I say working, I mean working. I mean right up until I finally grab my bag and walk out I’m in meetings or trying to crank out one last email. I returned to BTR on Sunday so I’ve gotten two very full days in before I jump back into the Rent-A-Wreck and head back to New Orleans (MSY) for the direct flight to FLL on Wednesday afternoon.

Last week, I hit a construction zone (GD transportation projects!) on the way to MSY so I was in a panic about making the flight. I ran to security to find… no one in line. No one. Nada. Just me. I stood there for a moment trying to figure out if I was even in the right place (MSY security in Terminal A looks about as temporary as they get). They waved me toward the conveyor belt and I was done in less than a minute. Then I rushed to gate to find…. two hour delay. Of course, this now meant I had 15 minutes to make my flight in Tampa, but no. We landed in Tampa and I had another hour delay. I left the office at 3, I arrived in FLL at 12.

despite the delay, I felt like I was in first class on this trip. After four months of being crammed on the regional jet, the Southwest 737 was like heaven. I was practically giddy with the excitement of having leg room. Once I arrived at FLL, I wasn’t the - oh let’s just say nicest - person to the Rental Car Dude, but I’m sorry. I’m a frequent renter and despite standing in the “I’m a very imporant customer, at least way more important than you” line, I should not have to wait behind the person who is trying to use three credit cards to get a rental or the Asperberger Tourist who really really wants a fun car, but it has to be green, as in eco-green, and it can’t have leather cause leather is icky-poo, and don’t you have one that runs on natural gas? Oh, I want to use my ipod, so make sure it has an AUX jack. My lack of patience was rewarded with a smoky brake-sticking 4Runner which was a surprising POS considering my considerable experience with 4Runners.

Woke up to a lovely Florida day (I’m sorry, they are always lovely to me). The day was spent getting the vitals from Dad such as bank info, bills to be paid, people to contact, durable power of attorney (where I highlighted the part that says I can ebay everything in his apartment), and the depressing crap. My brother and I finally left the hospital at 9 and had drinks at a bar and watched the Tampa Bay-Red Sox game (the one where Tampa was winning 7 to 0 in the 7th but apparently LOST when we woke up the next day.)

Surgery was Friday. Dad’s surgery was 7 hours long. Everything went well, or as the surgeon said, “no accidents” (thanks Dr. Dude, appreciate that extra attention you took in not having accident). Dad is still in ICU, still on a vent but we are hopeful at this point.

So, tomorrow is another day, and I’m way tired.

I heard someone say that today, as in, “My push-in-shun on the subject is quite clear.”

So my pushinshun is that I am tired. I spent way too much time today on travel arrangements. I woke up at 4:30, kissed The Supervisor and Sparky good bye at 5:15 and drove into the darkness not to return for seventeen days. Sigh. I hadn’t done the actual math until now.

My dad is sick, it’s not the good kind of sick (the big C) so this is what my life looks like for those seventeen days:

October 13: RIC-BTR (via MEM)

October 15: MSY-FLL (via TPA)

October 19 FLL-MSY (no freaking stops for the first time in forever)

October 22: MSY-FLL (again, direct. Love you SWA!)

October 27: FLL-MSY (direct - sweeeet)

October 30: BTR-RIC (via MEM, not direct but who doesn’t love a stop in MEM?)

I haven’t even considered a life beyond that date. I have so much to do in FLL it’s going to be a blur I’m sure.

People that I know who travel way more and varied than me (as in four cities in five days routinely) - I don’t know how they do it. I make so many mistakes. For this round, the travel logistical nightmare came from the fact that I had booked RIC-BTR-RIC tickets for about three weeks out (like I usually do). I had to change tickets, couldn’t stay on the same airline much less the same city, so I have e-credits all over the freakin place now. Throw in the fact that I have a rental car in Baton Rouge and will be renting a car each time I go to FLL. The good news? I two months I scored a second jetBlue True blue pass - can you say PONCE, PR?

If the travel arrangements didn’t suck enough, throw in that I had to reschedule doctor’s appointments and …. get an absentee ballot since I can’t count on being on town. I’ve gone through my date book trying to see if there was anything else I missed and I don’t see it.

All I can say is if I made plans with you and I don’t show up, I’m genuinely sorry. Look up at the sky and wave your fist at me. I promise to wave back!

The good news in all this? I am SILVER ELITE baby, finally - I am elite status. But really, wasn’t I always?

September came in with a bang.  And it’s already October.

I took some pics, not many, in BTR of the debris from Gustav. I was away from the client for the two weeks after Gustav, but have been back to work the last two weeks. Project is on schedule and despite client whining, should be completed on time.

I’ve regularly taken the RIC-MEM-BTR route on NWA for a couple of months now. After having a problem every single week on the RIC-ATL-BTR Delta route, I have to say I’m pleasantly surprised by the say, lack of drama? It’s a no brainer trip every week. I usually even land within two or three gates away from my next connection. I did cut it super close this week leaving BTR and almost got thrown out of the security line for yelling at the people in front of me to pay attention and take off their belts and shoes, but I made it. I really don’t like cutting it close, ever. I’d rather be early and cool my heels at the gate than play the “I hope I don’t get behind a family of first time flyers in the security line” lottery. 

BTR never has a line in security, but that being said, they also never open a second line when there is a problem that causes a line to form. The officers just stand next to each other, and watch - never offering a helpful word - while people muddle through the process. This is in sharp contrast to RIC where they walk up and down the lines offering advice, which someone always hears. “Hey, he said I have to take my laptop out of the bag, I better do that now.” Every single week at BTR, I see someone’s shaving kit get confiscated because it has full size product.

I left BTR on  Thursday this week, although initially was hoping to leave on Wednesday for a desparately wanted and long-planned vacation with grad school friends. I ended up working the whole day Thursday, and arriving in RIC at 10:30, to a driving rainstorm. Instead of driving straight to Va Beach as planned, I went home and left the next morning. My adventurous days of driving in the dark through torrential rain seem to be past me finally.

I met everyone for breakfast, and we spent the rest of the day laying around and reading and chilling and talking trash about politics and just waiting until it was time to go to dinner.  It rained quite a bit the day before (see mention about torrential rain) - enough to flood the eating porch of this restaurant, but we still managed to eat outside on the upper deck. The table behind us had two kids who had destroyed the table - food and trash everywhere. At one point, one of the kids started throwing trash in the bay, and one of our dinner mates called the parents on him. When they left, they walked by and said, “Thanks for being a bitch!” Oh my god. You allow your children to create an unhealthy PIG STY, you ask other diners to endure your child doing Kung Fu in the aisle (”Hi yaaa!”), your kid throws garbage in the water and then (drunk) coward that  you are, you deflect back to us? Yes indeed. This is the world we live in now.

A side note - RIC has started a randow selection for secondary search program at security. Everyone, including children, press a button after they go through the detectors. The screen returns “passed” or something else I suppose. I haven’t been picked yet, nor have I seen anyone picked so I don’t know how it works after that.

I still have the apartment (I posted some pics on Flickr - it has pics from all three rooms I’ve stayed in at this house - the current one being the smallest and cheapest), and for two weeks in a row when I have gone back at 3 on Friday to change and get my suitcase before heading to the airport, Tennessee has been in my apartment rearranging crap or something. He told me he hooked up my DVD player (I hadn’t reconnected it after I moved back in after Gustav). I guess I finally need to ask him to stay out for good. It’s officially crossed the line from mildy amusing to creepy.

But as it gets darker earlier, by ability to walk in the evenings will also diminish so I’m considering going back to a hotel at that point. I like the place, but I don’t want to keep it if I’m not going to enjoy the benefits.

Speaking of - I’m going to see Drive-By Truckers in Baton Rouge on Monday night. Yes, MUSIC in BATON ROUGE. Who’s a happy happy girl?

“Bye bye Baton Rouge,” I said outloud to no one in particular, “See ya Evangeline Street, Mohican street, Hollywood Street. See ya Monday.” I pushed the pedal of the craptastic Chevy Cobalt I had nicknamed “Smokey” and pointed the car in the fastest lane to the airport.

For the last couple of months, I’ve religiously selected the same seat on the plane for each leg - mostly because I really can’t handle having to remember one more thing. I’ve got three new user names for various systems at the client with three new unique passwords that all require different masks, so my brain is full. Last night I thought,” I really want to see Graceland from the plane this time, so I changed to the left side of the plane. And of course, we  landed facing South so NO GRACELAND.

So, in that light, it’s time for a Memphis list.

1. They are paging a Captain to a gate. If he can’t show up on time, how can we expect passengers to do the same.
2. One carry on bag does not translate to two laptop briefcases and four overstuffed plastic bags of crap.
3. Fashion note: Female asscracks are not pretty.
4. They have been playing 70s disco in the cafe near my gate. I just heard “Theme from S.W.A.T”
5. I seriously am not looking forward to getting back into the craptastic Smokey on Monday after having sat in the sun all weekend percolating the toxins.
6. There are far fewer travelers this week. Noticeably.
7. I did not obsess about the kate spade sale email I got. i did not obsess about the kate spade sale email I got. I did not obsess about the kate spade sale email I got.
8. If I was a profiler, half the weirdos in my terminal right now would be getting secondary searches.
9. That sure was a cute purse in the email.
10. I thought baggy pants were so like the 00s man.
11. On a related note - I despise the sunglasses on the baseball hat look.
12. At 40% off, that purse could be doable.
13. I haven’t watched any news in a week, and yet I somehow knew it was talk like a pirate day, matey. No, it wasn’t the 50000 twitters from LisaDog that reminded me.
14. Holy crap, I just saw someone I know from high school.

Alabammy.

No, I did NOT have a banjo on my knee and no, you aren’t the first person to ask me.

I went to Fairhope, Alabama two weeks ago as my get-the-hell-out-of-Stix weekend. I was sitting in my webex staff meeting and while the powerpoint was droning on, I googled “Fairhope”+”Inn” and got the Fairhope Bed & Breakfast. I booked it and left right after the meeting.

I arrived around 8 and walked out to this pier, which before this extension has a huge covered area with a ginormous fridge and stove and happy innkeepers who were watching tv. On the pier. Awesome. They directed me to a seafood shack nearby where I got myself a catfeesh po-boy, mmmm. I came home that night to an empty pier so I went to the top of the pier in the picture and just sat in the dark, watching the lights over Mobile Bay. Awesome. I spent the rest of the weekend communing with kitties, reading, walking around the town, and swimming in the gulf in Gulfshores, AL.

I returned to a very crazy couple of weeks of work; non-stop to the point where bathroom breaks are even difficult to manage. I am doing more and more work on the finance part of the work - I find myself saying things like ‘general ledger” and “capital outlay” and it scares the crap out of me AND I’m not falling asleep.

I am shipping out on Saturday for home for a week. They are shutting down the project so that people here can focus on emergency operations. They do not expect the stix to get more than some tree damage, house damage, power outages. No floods here, but definitely an influx of refugees. Tennessee has filled the house where I rent an apartment with FEMA folks and reporters, so I’m sad to leave (i really hope that they aren’t knick knack rearrangers). What better group to be stormed-in with? Oh well, 7 whole days at home. What will the Sparky and the Supervisor do? 

Of course, as this storm has ramped up over the last day my lovely and deeply caring boss left me a voice mail (I’ve taken to screening his calls) that said, and I’ll paraphrase, “Get out of town, do not stay there, take any flight out, but don’t spend lots of money and I’m worried about you being billable next week so try to get back as soon as you can.” Whatevs, dude.

Oh. Hell. No.

Tonight is a big night of cinema in the apartment. I’m watching “College Road Trip,” and eating a Stouffer’s French Bread Pizza. My new employee, the former CFO of the organization I am working for, was very kind to lend me a DVD player for the Pied de Terre and it came with the movie. Every day he has asked if I’ve seen it. So, here I sit, watching a movie with a pig in it. And I’m laughing, so I must be bored. Holy crap, Donny Osmond is in the movie too.

Today’s thoughts from Memphis weren’t as gentle natured (maybe the comment about the dress wasn’t so kind but it was meant as constructive criticism….). Friday’s trip was so wonderful. I had my own seat for both legs of the flight, I had scored the exit row for the first leg and was stretched out enjoying the flight.  Even with the children in front of me who kept slamming down the window shade, I had PodBud and Jack (Daniels) and I was happy another week was over. Then came Monday. the 4:30 wake up call (after I had just had a long and horrible dream where I was trying to make my JetBlue flight and missing it and then ended with three helicopters about to crash over my head and me trying to duck under a car to avoid being killed) and the rushing and the crowded plane and the seat back shoved in my face and the prospect of another two weeks in hot and humid land. Oh yes. It is on.

1. Everyone is stupid.

2. I’m in desparate need of a huge coffee.

3. LiNthium bat-try man waved at me. We’re buds.

4. I just read the front page of the NYT and I’m like, Russia is invading a country? Holy crap, I have not been paying attention to the news.

5. I love my outfit today. I feel so confident. My jacket is so cute. Of course, the button popped off the sleeve mid flight so the stapled band looks arts-y, not so business-y.

6. I need a nap.

7. Zzzzzzz

I walk in the door of the client at 11:15 to face the crisis waiting for only me to solve. Apparently, the blue chairs that were in our conference room disappeared and someone wants to use “our” conference room (Yes, I’m included in the “our”) and there are not enough chairs. So I go to the person who last used the room and voila! Chairs! Magic! And I’m the hero. Thank you. That’ll be $165 dollars please.

(Note the clearer picture - taken with my new olympus styus 850SW. I updated the baton rouge pics on flickr too.)

Oh. My. God. The invasion is coming. Run. Fast.

I refer to the landlord as Tennessee Williams. He has an adorable habit of coming in my apartment when I’m not here and rearranging the knick knacks. While this kind of freak show would normally be worrisome, it actually amuses me. And in a town where I’m finding little to amuse me these days, it’s welcome.

When he first showed me the place, he pointed out some things, “Oh that basket of fake ivy, I’m going to take that and put something else there.” “That picture is going to go. I think something else should go there.” At the time he showed me the apartment, it was occupied and as we walked through he would put things back “in their place” as in, “I don’t know why she moves things around. That ceramic figurine goes on the coffee table.” A couple of weeks ago I noticed that the basket of fake ivy was indeed replaced with a fake oil lamp.  So the thing is, I’m not worried about him going through my stuff, taking anything, or even worried about my safety. The dude is a freak - this house means a great deal to him and well, he’s a southern man - this was probably Grandma’s house. Hence, the nickname. Go TW. You rock.

Things I thought about as I sat in MEM:

1. At least I didn’t throw up when the pilot attempted a half-barrel roll on approach.
2. Dang, this is a long layover for morning ( 1 ½ hours).
3. Dang, wi-fi isn’t free in this airport.
4. That dress is supposed to be worn with leggings, sister. Your ass won’t look any better but at least we won’t be seeing it. I can only imagine the view your three-year old is getting.
5. Why don’t they have cup holders in the gate area? My very hot grande coffee is balancing precariously in the dip of the chair next to me.
6. I counted 4 Starbucks between gate C2 and A10.
7. There is an enormous man sitting in the gate area and I hope to god he isn’t sitting next to me. These CanadaAir Regionals are teensy weensy.
8. Good God Goldilocks, pick a seat.
9. They have made those poor Gulfport people move three times, “Gate A7, nope A9, nope A7.” For some reason, the gates here go A20, A18, A16, A14, A11, A9, then down an escalator to A10, A3, A4, and A4. No that’s not a typo. I love drunk airport designers!
10. I’m really glad I’m not sitting in a cubicle (yet).
11. I am seriously bored and I do not feel like working on the GASB 34 summary.
12. WOMAN – MOVE IF YOU CANNOT HEAR THE PERSON YOU ARE TALKING TO ON YOUR CELL PHONE, STOP COMPLAINING ABOUT THE INTERCOM. AND WHY ARE YOU SITTING RIGHT NEXT TO ME? (”What? can’t hear you, they are making stupid announcements. What? Oh I can’t hear you! I’m just calling to tell you that I’m on vacation this week and I forgot to tell you. Yes, I left the leave slip on your desk. What? I can’t hear you!”) (Note to self, try that one.)
13. OH MY GOD – Now she’s talking to herself.  Where is my iPod?
14. It’s LITHIUM, not LINTHIUM batteries. As in “Remove the LITHIUM batteries from gate checked luggage.”
15. What are Diana Krall and Elvis Costello like as a married couple?
16. Hey LA police chief dude, how many more people are you going to out? (Referring to his defense of his comment on Lindsey Lohan and her new gal pal by saying he is gay friendly because his sister is gay.)
17. Maggie Gyllenhall. I don’t get it. 
18. I don’t know who half the people on this magazine cover are. I’m officially out of the pop culture loop.
19. Crazy is now going through her purse, fishing out pieces of paper and still talking wildly to herself. Now I’m thinking “c’mon fat man” in the seat mate lottery.
20. Northwest now gives out one boarding pass for multiple connections. Reminder: don’t use boarding pass as a bookmark.
21. Almost everyone around me turned on cell phones during the flight, kept mp3 players on during take off and landing and/or had a computer on during same time. When did people start deciding that they are above the law? I don’t care whether or not it interferes, it’s a safety issue. Why should my safety be compromised for your playstation?